Posts Tagged ‘surviving a breakup’

“I want him to love me again” is expressed by many women all over the world, in different languages, environments and situations. Some married women find themselves saying those exact words to close friends or family members when they’re not feeling the intimacy that was once an everyday part of their marriage.

Some women have been on the bad end of a breakup or divorce and desire nothing more than the return of their man and his love. And some women were the instigators of the broken relationship, citing the loss of love as a reason or possibly rethinking their decision and hoping to return to the way things were. Whatever the situation, the sentiment is heartfelt but the solutions not always easy or clear cut.

If you’re trying to win back your guy’s love, one thing you need to understand is what men look for in a relationship and whether or not this was missing in yours. So, what are the things that men need? Above all, men crave admiration. So you need to let him know that he’s wanted and admired.

While it may be obvious for you, it probably won’t be as much so or enough to him, so when in doubt, go overboard with flirtation and affection. Did you get comfortable in the relationship and tend to dress casually most of the time and forget about make-up and sexy clothes? Or even worse, did you dress up for work but stay in sweats and tennis shoes at home?

Did your boyfriend or husband leave you for another woman? Most women mistakenly think their man has found a better looking women. That’s not usually the case. In fact, when and if you end up meeting the “other” women who happens to be pretty normal looking, the typical reaction is to think. . .”what does he see in her”? It’s most likely not just what he sees in her but what he feels in her. She makes him feel respected, admired and wanted again.

Are you still in your relationship and constantly being accused of being a nag by your partner? This isn’t anything new, right? You’ll often hear men complain about being “nagged to death.”

What they’re really saying is that they want their wife or girlfriend to be satisfied with who he is and what good qualities he has to offer. Realize that the nagging isn’t the real problem – it’s the fact that you are conveying that you’re unsatisfied with who he is and what he has to offer. That’s what really gets to a man and drives him out of a relationship

Don’t take this to mean that you have to be lovey-dovey all the time and can never express your true feelings, anger or sadness. But when you are proud of your man, make sure he knows it! Don’t just show the negative feelings that come up and take the love and admiration for granted. Keeping this in mind will keep the fire of his love alive.

This information should help you if you’re in the mindset of “I want him to love me again.”

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An apology is like a scalpel, if used correctly it saves lives, loved ones and can cut away years of damage, but used incorrectly and it swiftly severs the heart from the body PERMANENTLY

Millions, if not billions of dollars have been paid in lawsuits that could have been saved with an effective apology. When an apology is done correctly it can truly perform what seems to be a miracle.

It is not uncommon of course, for women and men take partners back after affairs, but it is also more common than one would think where families have forgiven murderers, rapists and many more offenses much more awful than most couples do to each other.

An apology is a very powerful weapon providing it is done the right way, in many cases it has been the turning point in healing a relationship. It really is an admission of a wrong doing and must be seen to mean just that.

We must never use an apology as a defence or an excuse. How many times have you heard and probably said yourself “I am sorry BUT…” and then follows a list of reasons and excuses, only some of which may be near the truth. Hey! That may well be ok for small insignificant things like being a few minutes late for a meal or a small appointment, but we are discussing big things here, like maybe saving a strong relationship or even our marriage.

When making an apology it is very important not to place emphasis on who’s right and who’s wrong. Remember it is an admission of wrong doing. Accept responsibility for the rift. Are you trying to save face? Or save your relationship?

Here are some tips on a good apology….
Acknowledge how the other person feels, take some time putting yourself in their shoes, be very careful NOT to say “I know how you feel” because the truth is you do not know how they feel right now and it can easily backfire and it really is a cop out.

Him…”You must be so frustrated with me, angry and hurt.”

Her…”Yes I am frustrated and getting a little angry.” Or maybe “I am beyond being angry I am hurt”
Either way you both come out ahead BECAUSE you have a better understanding of their feelings and they feel heard and acknowledged.

Him…”I understand, I am letting my problems get in the way of our relationship, I have promised to be home early but I keep letting you down.

Her…Well, I realise that it is not all that easy at work…

Him…Thanks, but it is really not an excuse…I want you to know that I feel so terrible for letting you down. Maybe, we need to talk about this some more?
So they sit down and talk instead of having an argument.

This has been an example of an apology on what might seem to be a fairly small matter, but broken relationships all start with small things and if nothing is done about it they soon become very big things. Taking responsibility for a rift in the relationship can go a very long way in resolving that rift.

I recently read a book about saving relationships and about getting your partner back after a sometimes bitter parting. There are very few relationships that CANNOT be saved with the right advice and planning that this particular book imparts.
Apologies are covered in full, even how to apologise after having an affair or strangely, apologising if your wife/girlfriend had an affair.

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Relationship break-ups occur all of the time causing heartache and depression together with all sorts of different feelings. There are books and reports on how to get your ex back telling us a range of different things, “5 ways to do…” or “7 tips on how to” or “Do this… It is guaranteed “and so on.

Let’s look at the facts; there are no two relationship break ups that are the same. It can happen at school or at anytime right through your life; there are no doubt cases in retirement homes where sadness comes from breaking up with someone you love.

As there are no break ups that are same there are no solutions that are exactly the same either.
There is never fault on one side, believe me; I have been through it on more than one occasion and the fault is usually about 50/50. Oh sure it is very easy to say and convince yourself that “Its not my fault” but by doing this you are almost certainly not going to get back into the relationship.

I found that the most important thing that you must do is to clearly decide if you want your ex partner back. You are at least half to blame for the break up, so are you prepared to admit it and alter your ways? Are you prepared to put up with your ex partner’s faults and ways? These are vital points that must be overcome if you are ever to get back together.

It is so easy to let ego come on the scene and to want to save face and to be able to win. This is a situation where there are no winners but if your reason for getting your ex back is genuine love and almost nothing else then go and try to get back together.

Getting back together after a break up is not easy, there are no quick and easy solutions but there is help available from genuine people that have learned the hard way. These are completely independent and can answer questions that family and friends cannot.
If your reasons are right and you are genuine in wanting to get back with your ex partner don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.

Experienced people are at hand to help with relationship advice and techniques that gives you every chance to get back into your relationship. A guy called T(Dub)Jackson is the best in the business. I wish he had been around in my days of relationship conflict

So…don’t sit back and relax. there are some secrets and techniques you simply cannot afford to miss at any cost.

If you want your lover back you must do something, doing nothing will get you nothing! Funny that isn’t it?

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